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   Now I know for sure...
        you're a
Computer Addict





25 Ways for you to Know,
            You've Been Online
too Long


01. Technical Support calls "YOU" for help.
02. Someone at work tells you a joke & you say LOL outloud.
03. You keep begging your friends to get an account
    so "we can hang out".
04. You've to get a 2nd phoneline so you can call Pizza Hut.
05. You don't know where the time has gone.
06. Your wife now complains of you moving your fingers
    in your sleep instead of talking.
07. Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night.
08. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in
    the middle of the night when your wife is asleep.
09. You find yourself lying 2 others about your time online.
10. You'd rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are     from partying 2 much than the truth - online all night.
11. Your dog leaves you. Your wife threatens to...
12. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet
    some folks face-to-face.

13. You have a map on the wall with lots of red pins
    to mark where people are you have met.
14. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.
15. You go thru "withdrawal" if you are away from the
    computer for more than a few hours.
16. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do
    is get online before you've your first cup of coffee.
17. Your relationship online has gone farther than
    any real one you have had.
18. You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom but
    turn on the computer instead.
19. You stop typing whole words and use things like
    brb, dunno and :-)
20. You type faster than you think.
21. You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.
22. You dream in "text".
23. You double click your TV remote.
24. You check your E-mail and forget you have real mail.
25. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner
    because you wanted to "check your mail"



Music by Kraftwerk - Computer Love







   Some "Computer Terms" you need to know

TERMS BACKUP
What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE
Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG
The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE
What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE
Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP
Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL
Time to call the undertaker
CRASH
When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL
The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE
Female Disco dancer
FAX
What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER
Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY
Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET
Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD
Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC
Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ
How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM
What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD
Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK
Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE
Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM
Where the pope lives
SCREEN
Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT
A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR
Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI
What you call your week-old underwear

...don't forget how it all started...


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Computer Addict - you are really crazy on your computer, are you?

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